FBFW

You’re a bridezilla if….

Published date: 24th January 2019


Any readers who think being referred to as a Bridezilla is cool should consider the origin of the term – a union of the words bride and Godzilla, the 1950s movie monster famed for destroying cities.

If you find yourself drifting in that direction, it’s time to take stock. We can (and will) tell you stories about the hugely negative impact on friendships and lives of Bridezilla-dom. In none of them does the bride come out looking good.

Take for example the wedding where the daughter of very ordinary English parents became so obsessed with having the best of everything that she persuaded mum and dad to remortgage their home to fund her Big Day. The marriage lasted weeks, the parents lost their home. Or the bride who spent two long years planning every tiny detail of her wedding, so engrossed by the process that she failed to notice she didn’t love her future husband, their marriage too ending shortly after post-wedding reality kicked in. Or the bride who dumped a skint childhood friend from the wedding party for not contributing a present as expensive as she had demanded.

So what are the signs that you just may be a Bridezilla in the making?

Losing your sense of proportion. Four anecdotes illustrate this one perfectly. In the first a bride slapped her future husband for wanting to call off the wedding at the last moment when his brother was found murdered. In the second a bride threw a fit when her granny died on the big day – as she saw it, ruining her seating arrangements. The third saw a bride livid about a huge natural disaster that as far as she was concerned had far worse ramifications – flowers of a particular type and colour were temporarily unavailable, so her bouquet design had to be altered. And worse (yes, it is possible) the bride who dropped a friend as bridesmaid because she became pregnant, as might spoil the pictures (!). When the friend sadly miscarried the bride, or so legend has it, expressed her contentment that now she could be a bridesmaid again.

It’s all about you and the one day. A personal favourite here – the bride who was on the larger size who had the temerity to demand that her bridesmaids all put on a considerable amount of weight so they wouldn’t show her up. Even more cruel surely was the bride who prevented a friend with a severe illness taking pain medication on the day so she wouldn’t be ‘out of it.’ One story we’ve come across that sums up how people lose touch with reality – admittedly it was in America where they often have a tenuous grip anyway – with a nine-month schedule of meetings, parties, rehearsals and trips provided to the many bridesmaids, along with a clear threat that miss one and you’re out and we’ve got subs lined up for that eventuality. But that pales beside the fixation of a French bride who after her wedding was over decided that there was no point in life afterwards, and persuaded her husband to commit suicide with her.

Rudeness off the scale. What would you think of a bride who sent one of her bridesmaids a gift-card for a waxing salon with the succinct message ‘upper lip’? Or mailed her bridesmaids instructions on their diet for weeks before the day, the time they had to go to bed, and above all that they were not allowed to eat anything for 24 hours before the ‘I dos’ to avoid any chance of stomach bulges spoiling her pictures.

The only plea in mitigation for Bridezilla behaviour is that strange mixture of nerves, workload and stress. But once the day is done, there is really no further room for excuses. So the recent bride who had her white wedding dress altered a little to make it wearable for smart occasions then turned up in it for a series of family weddings – against all etiquette and seemingly fully aware of the attention it got her – should be banished to a particularly nasty level of hell.

Some simple warning signals to bear in mind. If when planning stuff you ever use the words ‘I don’t care what you think’ to your intended; if you spurn sex so you can spend more time researching centre-pieces; if your parents/wedding planner/venue manager don’t return your calls; if you actually believe money is no object: then you may be a Bridezilla. Seek help.

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