Real Bride’s Story On Postponing Her Wedding
Published date: 13th April 2021 | Author: Emma Freeman
Tell us a little bit about yourself and your current situation. When was your original wedding booked for? How long have you been planning your day etc
So, I’m 37, living with my fiancé Paul & our 3 teenagers 18,16 & 13. Plus Nellie the overweight sausage dog. We’re currently on our 4th date so far, having moved from July 2020 to Nov, into March 2021, now back to Nov 2021. All the seasons covered!
I understand that you are now on your 4th postponement, how have you found the process of postponing?
Planning one wedding over 3 years was stressful enough but to plan another 3 weddings in 12 months is something else! I’m now planning almost from scratch as we want to leave the “wedding that was” behind us & look forward to November.
Good suppliers have made it so much easier, we’ve been lucky. Our venue were probably the hardest to deal with but it’s understandable, they have a business to fight for. I think the mental health aspect was probably the hardest.
Have you managed to keep with your original suppliers and venues?
We’ve been so lucky and managed to keep all of our suppliers, we weren’t willing to go ahead and lose a single one so we worked around all of them. We’ve even added more suppliers in recent months.
What has been the main factor in you deciding to postpone your day?
The day we went into lockdown! I called our venue & was told it was too early, I was panicking & that I was the only July couple considering it, I was told to wait a while but by end of April, I couldn’t wait anymore & pushed to move. We originally said we’d wait until two weeks before if we had to but I’d underestimated how serious the pandemic was & the impact it had. I was so desperate to hold onto hope but it was impossible.
Where did you start when you had decided you would need to postpone your day?
We’ve been incredibly lucky. Our main priority was to keep our stylist & photographer, then we worked around the other suppliers and sorted dates they could all do. They’ve been so good to us, I couldn’t bare to lose any of them.
What advice can you give anyone else faced with having to postpone their wedding?
Follow your head & not your heart. Your heart will ALWAYS want to get married. That’s why you are here. But your head will know what’s best for you as a couple. Be kind to your suppliers. Try to understand this is a livelihood for them & they’ve not worked for a year. They DO want you to marry but they also want to work. Be realistic with your expectations, think fairly & be willing to compromise. Be kind.
Once you make the decision to postpone, crack on & move fast. Mark the original day but then detach from it. Let the day go and focus on what’s ahead. It can be so gruelling focusing on what’s lost. Move forward & look to an amazing future.
Be prepared that not everyone will know what to say. Maybe put a post on your socials politely asking for a little bit of time to process & to allow you to take time to grieve. Not everyone will understand but you will find a way to navigate it.
How are you feeling with the current guidelines from the Government?
Honestly? I’m angry. The lack of parity is agonising. I think eventually, some kind of investigation needs to be launched to find out exactly why we have been so heavily discriminated against, where is the data? I think we are owed answers.
We know you support the #whataboutweddings campaign, how has their advice and guidance helped you through this pandemic?
For me personally, I cannot thank them enough. They’ve supported all of us inclusively. Heard all of voices & given us a platform. There’s been no speculation from them, only facts. Because of them, we’ve held onto our day. For me personally, I cannot thank them enough. They’ve supported all of us inclusively. Heard all of voices & given us a platform. There’s been no speculation from them, only facts. Because of them, we’ve held onto our day.
Is there anyone you follow who inspires you and helps keep you motivated and positive?
Obviously @WAWofficialUK is a no brainier but as always, @LoveMyDressBlog is my wedding one stop shop for all the flutters! I’m finding myself so inspired by the real weddings. Also following my suppliers on social media helps, just seeing their work.
Did you do anything to celebrate your original wedding date with your partner?
First time around, we went to the seaside, sat up in the dunes all secluded, drank homemade gin, cried together & then laughed. We told each other how much we loved each other, looked back at our 8 years & it was beautiful. Then we let the day go.
We promised each other that it would be the only date we’d celebrate, the next wedding date we celebrate will be the day it happens. Paul detached himself much better than I did but it’s important to remember your partner is hurting even if you don’t think it.
My in laws packed us the most beautiful picnic. We had lots of gifts from friends & family, messages throughout the day & lovely cards. It was so nice to know people really cared about us.
Do you think that your new weddings date will be able to go ahead with no restrictions in place?
I’m really hoping so, that’s the reason why we’ve postponed so many times. I’d be happy to have track & trace & sanitising stations but that’s all. We should all be vaccinated by then so it makes no sense to be restricted further.
If we don’t see festivals restricted this Summer, they can forget it if they think I’ll be putting my guests under restriction. We’ve kept each other safe for a year, but enough now, no parity? No restrictions for us come November.