What could possibly go wrong? Tips for worriers

Published date: 30th January 2019

Unless you’re just starting your planning, and have never spoken to anyone who’s been through the process before you, you know it’s complicated. There are innumerable elements to arrange, so if you’re nervous or one of life’s pessimists, the thought may arise that things can go awry. So how can you minimise worries?

The first tip is basic: check out all your important suppliers – word of mouth, internet search, meeting them… Contact them a week or two beforehand to ensure they’ve not gone bust/died, that they haven’t forgotten your date, and they are doing what you ordered.

Back-up plans will help you sleep better as the big day approaches. Transport is a biggie here – in case your car gets held up by an accident or road closure, is there someone who can get you to the church on time? For the groom the best man often acts as taxi driver, but just in case, is there an usher/dad/uncle/neighbour who’ll step in?

In Britain outdoor weddings can be wonderful, marquees are posh and fun, but the weather may not be entirely cooperative. Does your venue have a space that can be readied at short notice if the heavens open? Same applies to destination weddings – tropical beaches can experience tropical storms. Marquees are pretty robust, but consider paying for the floor option so rain doesn’t create a canvas-covered quagmire.

Back-ups for bands and DJs in case of illness etc are worth thinking about. Some work independently, but others are part of companies/networks that may be able to provide substitutes. Ask.

No consolation as regards things getting spoiled, but wedding insurance can be arranged. The main things covered tend to be cancellation due to ill-health (bride, groom, or possibly parents), though weather can be an option too. You can’t get cover for cold feet or jilting.

On the day there’s nothing like having a competent friend to take the weight off your shoulders – maid of honour, best man, parents… So don’t fall out and be clear you’d appreciate help.

Now a quick run through some minor problems you can avoid with forethought. And one major one – don’t calm your nerves by knocking back a bottle or two, the officiant may decide you are not fit to make the big decision required of you. That goes for other chemical therapies too.

Eat well the day before and and even if you have a nervous stomach on the big one, you’ll not be likely to faint with hunger. The same logic extends to crash dieting – don’t.

On the way to the ceremony, use your seatbelt. Even if it adds the tiniest crinkle to your dress, that’s less noticeable than a broken nose or black eye if the car makes an emergency stop. Or something unimaginably bad if there’s an accident.

Many of us will have seen this happen – the groom struggles with the ring on your finger. You measured up in a cool shop, but marrying on a sweaty summer afternoon your finger has swollen. Top tip: get your MOH to put a tiny spot of lotion on your ring finger just before you hit the aisle.

We’ve got a whole post about speeches, but the major wisdom boils down to – write it well in advance; practice; make sure you take it with you (and give a copy to the BM for super sure); don’t think about doing it off the cuff. If anyone giving a speech is particularly nervous in company, keep it very short and sweet including my wife and I [cheers]; thanks; toast duties.

And after it’s all over and you head off on your exotic honeymoon, it’s a bit late to remember you need injections.

This is meant to be reassuring, though it may sound otherwise at first. There may never have been a wedding without a glitch. Times slip, someone falls ill, suppliers have problems. In the grand scheme of things it won’t matter. Smile, remember why you’re doing this, then keep calm and marry on.

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