Weirder wedding transport

Published date: 2nd January 2019

At FBFW we probably tend to favour the traditional while tipping our hats towards the more creative. So when we think about wedding transport the first thing that pops into our heads would generally be a black or white Rolls Royce, Bentley or Daimler decked out with wedding ribbons and chauffeured by a polite chap wearing a peaked cap. But we are impressed by those who think outside of the gear-box and opt for something a bit different.

This post was inspired by footballer Jonjo Shelvey’s arrival for his wedding in a helicopter, which somehow went past brash into stylish and even cool. Thinking about it, however, it struck us that this would be less than ideal for most brides, given the average wedding dress could potentially fill an entire helicopter cabin, thus preventing the pilot from seeing out which would be a bad thing.

Horse and carriage arrivals are quite popular, and very romantic too, though that would still seem to threaten the fall of your dress (stories abound of Princess Diana’s difficulties in the royal wedding coach with her giant train). Katie Price arrived for her nuptials with Peter Andre in a Cinderella-style coach, and it wasn’t a good look for her. Maybe you could pull it off?

The mode of transport you choose can say plenty about your personal style: sharing a tandem with your FH (or your dad?) is terribly eco-friendly, but we’d have nightmares about getting oil from the chain on the big white dress. Same goes for motorbikes. For the Boho/Hippy touch VW campers have become a go-to item of late. They are cute, surprisingly roomy, and with a bed in them… But let’s not go there. If you are a Bond super-villain (you could be, how are we to tell?) or a billionaire then the Caribbean company offering not just wedding transport in a mini-sub, but the weddings themselves could be just your thing. It’s unclear if they come with a private island and death-ray, but we can dream.

It’s nice if your transport can say something about your past or upbringing, so we trust that ‘Black Maria’ doesn’t spring instantly to mind. We’ve seen plenty of farmers’ daughters arrive on tractors (and been jealous of them), or in nice clean trailers pulled by a Massey Fergusson. And truckers’ daughters make the church on time in the cab of a huge lorry. Some firms hire wedding trucks, decorated specially and cleaner than the vicar’s jokes. But if mum or dad are undertakers, maybe not the hearse.

Another option that comes fraught with a different danger is the fire engine – yes, you can hire fire engines complete with driver and crew. As so many women have a strange fascination with hunky firefighters, we’d worry about the bride making it to the ceremony.

We have loads of waterside venues on our lists here at FBFW, for which watery arrivals may be a possibility – how do you fancy puffing up to the venue in a canal boat? Or arriving at the lochside hotel in a cruiser or a specially arranged ferry? If you’re doing the exotic beach wedding bit, a speedboat could be feasible, but we’d worry about the disembarkation unless there’s a pier.

Some of the above may not strike you as the most practical ideas ever. But one that could, and that appeals on the ‘how British’ level too, is the double-decker bus. Not only is it roomy, but in all likelihood you’ll get the entire wedding party in there: no more lost grannies, no more parking problems, and only one designated driver. This one we like a lot.

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