For Better for Worse Blog
How to Deal with Problem Parents at Your Wedding
Your wedding is your day. Itís for you and your partner to commit yourselves to each other for the rest of your lives. Unfortunately, some guests can o=forget this, and refuse to put their differences aside in order to allow you to have the best day of your life.
In an ideal world, everyone would realise that you deserve to enjoy this day without any friction or arguments. Thatís not real life though, as there will be people on your guest list that want to share in your happiness, theyíll also want to hog a bit of the limelight too.
How do you deal with problem parents on your wedding day?
Choose the Ideal Seats
If your mum likes to hog the limelight, or your dad likes to get drunk, if your mother in law canít stop sniping, find them a seat far away from you. Even if they do sit at the top table, place them near to the end, you could also give them a grandchild to take care of. If you can get away with it, place them away from the top table. You could tell them itís very important that the guests feel like theyíre sitting next to someone of importance in the wedding party. You donít need many people between you on a top table to make it difficult to have conversation. Keep your chief bridesmaid and best man close and let problem parents terrorise someone else at the end.
Remind Them Itís Your Day
You may want to enlist the help of the chief bridesmaid or best man to shame the parents into behaving. If itís suggested that theyíre acting quite selfishly by hogging the limelight or putting demands on you, they may just change their ways for the day. When family members are so close, often they believe that others canít see their behaviour for what it is. A gentle reminder from an outsider should pull them up enough.
Letís face it, what is your day about? Itís for you and the groom to exchange vows and to pledge the rest of your lives to each other. Itís not about the guests. The guests are invited to share in your happiness, you are sharing the wealth, and they should be grateful. Unfortunately few see it like this. If the guests arenít going to make your day that little brighter by being part of it, you can take drastic measures. Either donít invite them altogether, or elope and have a party another time.
Dealing with the Mother in Law
Weíd all love a great relationship with our mother in law but itís not always possible in reality. If your mother in law is difficult, this may be the day you pass on responsibility. The way your future husband defends you (or not) on your wedding day, will indicate how heíll handle her behaviour for the rest of your married life. If sheís making life difficult for you, itís up to him to let her know and to make it clear that itís completely unacceptable behaviour towards his wife.
Of course, you may never need these tips, as the day could go swimmingly, but if you do, just remember, itís all about you, not the parents, they had their wedding day, itís your turn now.
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